A little more than a year ago, I published this post about how my and everyone else’s relationships with my hair, my race (which isn’t nearly so simple as “I’m a white person!”), and my apparent social gender radically shifted overnight when I started shaving my hair clean off for a full year and a … Continue reading »
Category Archives: Lived Experience/Memoir
Radical Paradigm Shift
The past six months have been a nearly exact repeat of virtually all of the most difficult parts of my life. But something is different this time. I don’t know exactly when or how I reached the very brink of it, but it’s taken me six months to realize that I’ve undergone a radical paradigm … Continue reading »
Popping Cherries
I have a 3-D body mod in my chest. It’s a hand-carved (medical grade) silicone implant, completely encased in my skin. Here’s what it looks like today: In terms of body modification, speaking as a person with a 6 G (4.1 mm) septum ring and a fuck load of tattoos (including on my hands), this … Continue reading »
Let This Be A Lesson To You
On December 13th (just passed), I fled the house where just the day before, I had just been called an ignorant cunt, where my face had been spat all over, and where a man reached out and grabbed me by the throat before turning me against a wall and squeezing. I did this because, though … Continue reading »
Moccasins
When I was just learning how to walk, my feet would spread out so much that I just couldn’t manage without special shoes made from hardened leather hide. So my parents got a pair, and as soon as I learned how to walk in them, they were never put on my feet again. A few … Continue reading »
Satanism & Atheism: An Exercise In Schadenfreude
A (LaVeyan) Satanist and an atheist walk into a bar. No, wait, it was a conversation on Facebook. And… This isn’t the start of a joke, even though, for all intents and purposes, these two people are both atheists. The other day, someone posted a hyperbolically ridiculous news article about Satanist theists — the kind … Continue reading »
Money
I love and hate money. I love the illusion of freedom it gives me when I have it (once a month), but I hate the illusion of poverty it gives me when it’s running out. And all my life, I’ve lived in perpetual fear of the money running out. But something is finally changing within … Continue reading »
Encouragement & Inspiration
Today I have been repeatedly reminded of how much easier (and fruitful) it is to encourage and inspire another person, than to antagonize and silence them. I have lived most of my life without much encouragement (or any for my most formative years), and am constantly aware that when left to my own devices, I … Continue reading »
Familiar Places
My present living arrangement involves sharing the main floor of a house with two men. Both remind me of different aspects of my father. Psychologically, I am back in the house I left behind more than ten years ago. And physiologically, I am secretly returning to my old familiar places as a result. Mark One … Continue reading »
An Event I Never Thought I’d See For The Second Time
Trigger warning for detailed descriptions of an incident of domestic violence and strongly misogynistic language. — This morning, I was woken up by an obnoxiously loud television. In the past 48 hours, I have spent half that time in bed and still haven’t slept a full 8. I am living in a nightmare and can’t … Continue reading »