The Tone Police are always on patrol, scolding anyone for the use of strong, foul, and/or colourful language. And while tone-policing is frequently enforced by the privileged as some sort of a trump card in any argument about social inequality, it’s really not an argument at all. It’s a form of silencing.
Just yesterday, I witnessed multiple undercover Tone Police operations suddenly blow the lid off their privilege in an attempt to enforce silence upon dissident individuals. One of those dissident persons was me. I told someone they are being an unapologetic jerk for defending a “joke” about drunk driving — even after I told them that my maternal grandfather spent my mother’s entire childhood drunk behind the wheel, and that the entire maternal side of my family was wiped out largely due to alcoholism. I told him he was using the same rationale to defend his privileged standpoint as someone who jokes about rape, racism, and genocide. Simply because he’s never hurt anyone by driving drunk and never been hurt himself by someone else doing the same, he acts as though this extremely insensitive topic is a free punchline. He told me I’m being verbally abusive.
Well, sir, in case you missed it when I posted a half an hour later, I suggest you take my hostility as a lesson: next time you’ll be sure to print your honorary membership with the Tone Police on a Kleenex, so you have something to dry your tears with.
I vented my anger at the time by writing a comprehensive account of every way this individual has discriminated against me in the past (to say it didn’t go over well is an understatement). But since this particular occasion, I have begun venting by writing up sarcastic image macros instead.
The bottom line is, nothing is quite as pathetic and ridiculous as arguing that because you hear a narrator with a condescending or hostile tone of voice in your own head, reading my words out loud to you as you look at this string of text on the screen, that it’s somehow my fault. That you think this gives you any excuse to dismiss everything I have to say about your social privileges and/or privileged assumptions is just childish (grow a fucking spinal column!)
Prepare for butthurt. The next time I see the Tone Police are on patrol, I’m going trolling for pigs.